Tonight

I'm here tonight because I have these thoughts racing through my head. After sipping a margarita and slipping into my quiet zone, thoughts emerged. I'm tired of these thoughts. I want to wake up, see the sun peer through my window, and go I'm ok..I'm fine. Everyday I ask for it but it just won't happen. And its not like I'm in a dark place. Its just that I have no idea where to go from here. No clue. The future is quite murky as I look into the crystal ball I've created. How do I pull myself from this hole? How do I arrange the pieces so that I can finally walk away from this puzzle? I think my problem is that I'm not ready to walk away. I want to painstakingly labor over every piece because that's what I feel it deserves. Time & effort. But that's the problem with puzzles, they require time and effort but can't reciprocate. And you're left feeling drained. Who's to blame? You or the damn puzzle.

I don't know...after it all...I still don't know.

'Til next time.