The Field

I chased him...like in a movie through a field of wildflowers
The sun kissing my skin the blades of grass flirting with the hem of my dress
I never grew tired...I ran for miles
The sound of the of him making his way through the field was enticing
He was further and further away...but I chased him still
The promise of him in my arms at the end of the trail allured me
Every couple of turns he would peek out from the flowers
His fingertips would tickle me from beyond the grass

And the sun began to set
The crickets sang their congregation song
A puff of breeze grazed my bare arms...and I called for him
...and received no answer
So I ran hoping to find him...to see him standing waiting for me
But I was alone...and night was closing in around me

He left me in the field
To him it was all a game...a simple way to have fun
He never intended on me finding him
He had been watching me ...as I thought I had been chasing him
That's what he wanted me to believe
He was never in reach

It was dark and now the wind howled at me
scolding me for not seeing that I was foolish
The promise of love led me through a field with nothing to show
Mosquito bites..blistered feet...sunburned skin..and a broken heart
And now I was alone...chasing an illusion

I ran hard...trying so desperately to retrace my path
looking for each footstep as I sped through the foliage
Where was that drastic misstep?
Where was I when I had the chance to make it home before the moonlight revealed my naivety?
Some many changes to turn back...I realized it too late
...So I just ran...back to where I started...and left all that troubled me in the field..with his smile
...And his laugh...and his fingertips...and the sound of his breath as he moved through the field
I left it all there
....I think

Options

...Don't make someone a priority, when to them you're simply an option. I've heard that so many times on TV and in books, that I thought I would say it aloud today. I think someone needed to hear it. Didn't you?

Choices

Decisions, decisions. What is a girl to do when an alternative hits her hard. She never asked for it. When all was going back to normal and she was fine. Here is a new decision to be made. After all the forgetting I've tried to do, all the chapters I've tried to close, things are getting harder. Strings are pulling tighter. Do I snip them and release myself from this dance only to crash against the floor? Do I pack it all up and leave secretly? Do I run away from it all?

Decisions, decisions. I've never been one to toy around in emotions. I hate that song, so I skip it when I see it scroll across my screen. I play my tunes pretty clear and loud enough to be heard by who should hear it. How was I supposed to know others had their ears pressed against my wall. Scribbling down everything they heard me sigh to, cry to, laugh to, sing along with.

Decisions, decisions.

What's a girl to do?

Superhuman

I wish I was superhuman

So that when you called me
I could come running before the last syllable parted your lips
So that when you were cold
I could fly to the sun and bring you a little warmth
So that when you were upset
I could transport us somewhere to forget it all
So that when you were hungry
I could leap from country to country bringing you the finest just to soothe your palette
So that when we were far apart
I could hologram myself to you
So that when we fought
I could stop time and rearrange it all

But I'm not
So I'll just come as soon as the call comes through
I'll just hold you in my arms until you're comfortable
I'll take your mind off it all with a joke
I'll let you choose the meal we share
I'll call you just to hear your voice
I'll just pray we make it and let you know its alright

I'm not superhuman
I'm just super powered by love

Battlefields, Shields, & Shaky Hearts

There is a struggle involved when we care about someone other than ourselves. There is a need to fight a battle with our emotions and those of the other involved. Our swords clash and our shields sway back and forth. We try to protect ourselves from obvious blows, but stealth attacks always find their way through our armor. I watched an ally in battle today. It was a quick one. They came in swift, yet abrupt. Their shields in hands but it seemed they weren't holding their sword. It lie by their side as they ran into the battlefield they had grown to memorize. I saw the attack coming, but I couldn't save them. They ran right into the sword. Though it missed the vital organs, it nicked the heart and nipped at the dignity that remained. Blood, remorse, and self respect ran down their chest and covered them. I bow my head in mourning and tighten my grip on my weapon now. There is nothing I can do. We saw the same thing, but it was not my battle to fight. So I just sit silent in remembrance and a state of grief. My battle will soon arrive, and I now know how not to lose.