Giving Thanks...& Welcomes

Right now I'm sitting in class. I'm far from interested in the lecture because of how long it took for the professor to start this class. But I'm not on here to discuss me nearly dying from boredom [oh god she just told a Nixon/MCcain joke].

It's days away from Thanksgiving. Which means time to go around family members and stuff your face like there's no tomorrow, and of course "give thanks". In school they always threw around that phrase when I was younger. I knew what it meant to be thankful, but I don't ever think I took it to heart. This year with the avalanche of problems that has showered me, I'm finally taking in what this simple phrase means.

Never before have I been so down, yet so grateful for what I have. That's because I've lost so much lately. It takes everything going wrong to understand everything you have that is just right.

So as I eat my turkey, rolls, and cranberry sauce [oh yeah if anyone has extra cranberry sauce...let me know] I will take my time to look around and say "thank you" to everyone and everything that I have left in my life.

Go be with family, food, & football.

'Til next time

Giving...Something...Getting Something

Big ups to James Morrison for fueling this post. After a hard night of explosive emotions and words, I needed to release.

In life we all are looking for that "something". What it is exactly varies from person to person and experience to experience. All we really know is that when we get "it" every piece will seem as if it has fallen into place. All will be right in our lives. The other day, during a late night conversation with a friend. A statement poured from his lips so brutally honest, it hit home immediately. "I don't know what I want to do with my life". And in that instant, I attempted to console him in his time of gray. As I awoke the next morning, I realized, I don't know what my something is. Where is my something? What the hell am I going to do?

I have this great plan for when I leave school. But that's all it is at the moment is a plan. Will this plan help me get my "something"? I closed my eyes and felt a fear and anxiety so surreal. How can I get "something" when I don't know what it is? Was all this work I've done so far in vain? So easily I can tell others about their quest for "something", but when I talk to myself all the lines run together and the ink on the blueprints start to run.

So I'm terrified, and ill-prepared. Even with all this motivation and planning, I'm still in the middle of the sea with no map and a broken oar. Where do I go from here? What do I do? How will I reach "something"?

'Til next time

Carrie Bradshaw??

I will be the first to admit that I love to watch Sex & the City. It wasn't so much because of the glitz, the glam, the cosmos, and talk of orgasm over a good panini. I came to identify with Carrie. She was the girl who was a little lost in it all. She was successful, but she wanted more. That more usually came down to either a new pair of Prada pumps or a new boytoy. Every once in awhile she chose the guy. However, just as things got steamy and reminiscent of a whirlwind romance...CRASH!!! She hit a wall. There was something about the guy she found wasn't so great after all. Most of the little quirks were small...like she was finding reasons to back away sometimes.

I like finding reasons to back away. Getting close terrifies me. It puts me in place called vulnerability. Which the sheer thought of visiting scares the hell out of me.
I run away...
But now I'm tired of running. Those pumps are getting a little achy and I just would love to surrender.
But what if I get hurt?...I don't want to go through that again.

Writing that just now, the craziest thought shot through me. This time, I don't care if I get hurt. I just want to feel loved and appreciated. If only for a moment. Well not a literally moment, but I think you get my drift.

Ugh...I'm going to think..and nap

'Til next time

Election Day

Aren't we all so excited!! All day I've been bombarded with the images of Barack Obama and John McCain. Sorry Nader! [Yes people, if you checked your ballot Nader is still running] Flyers,buttons,stickers,signs. Everything is so glorious. I'm proud to say the number of "I voted" stickers on campus made me smile.

I'm anxiously awaiting the results from the polls. I'm nervous...I'm scared..I'm filled with girlish giddy. [ I said "giddy" ugh]

I had to blog some to release the anxiety.

To CNN..FOX..and the Net we goooo...

'Til next time