Breathe...

Sometimes the world just gets to be a little too much for me
I just need a time out to be called on life
I remember watching Saved By The Bell years ago and just longing for those Zack Morris moments
Ya know, the ones where he just glanced over at the camera and everything in the background stopped. Everything was still accept for him
I need that from time to time
(oh if you haven't noticed by now for no reason at all I'm writing all out of wack from my normal paragraph style. Yeah I don't feel all that normal, not that I am or anything...but blah back to the reading)

I'm deserving of a pause! I need a break!
So therefore I am putting in my application for a universal "me moment" remote
I need one right now...no I need one like quicker than right now..
I need one last week at 3:14:07
Yeah...
Just though I'd express my exhaustion really quick

'Til next time

Alone Time....Whatever that is

My mom always tells me I need "alone time". Time to chill out and reflect on life and such. This alone time makes me sad. Thanks mom! It gives me time to think about everything that is wrong and depressing in my life. At first it goes well...oh how great to be alone with nothing to do..yada yada yada...1 hour and & an episode of some show I've seen like 2895835829 times later...the mellow shit kicks the bucket and the "damn this sucks" rolls the fuck in.

I can't really blame it on her. She probably was told to do the same thing. Maybe its just the state that my life is in now that makes me so "eh" & "ugh" during "alone time".

Next time I do alone time...I'm just going to eat scooby fruit snacks, take a shot, & go to bed.

Til' next time

Boredom & The Likes of You

So right now I'm sitting in class. In a lecture room. BORED. When you're bored you tend to do things you're not supposed to (like fall asleep when the professor is so facing your direction). I also tend to daydream. I have a preference for placing myself in music videos and movies in my my mind. Daydreams rock!

You know what else you do when you're bored? You ramble. Like I'm doing right now. I figured "Hey, this blog is about my thoughts on life right? Let's allow the world to be bored with me!" Good times for all! I think college is meant to bore you more than it is to excite you. I guess once you sign your name on the dotted line to pay the bill, they can trick you over and over again.

My favorite song

you're my favorite song
I know all your lyrics
Sometimes i just want to sing you to the top of my lungs
The melody, I just can't escape
It's in my head all day long
I just love your tune
I bought your album...twice
downloaded you to my pod too
At night i love to hear the notes
like each key is whispering to me
i can point out every instrument
i tell everyone that your the greatest song I've ever heard
check my playlist, you're always on repeat
I love that you make me move as soon as I turn you on
I memorized you after my first listen
Because of the way you made me feel

I wish I could request you every minute, everyday
I swear you're like my favorite song
Can I hear it again?

Hiding

When we hide things from ourselves…we tend to hide ourselves from other people
So often do we fight with ourselves, do a dance of fear and denial
So scared to come out of sequence and embrace that is new
Looming over our heads all the words we wish we had said
And behind them negative thoughts, because we have trained ourselves to accept those as normal

Why is it so hard for us to express our feelings to another?
Is it simply because we afraid to admit that we are capable of being overcome with emotions?
Is it because rejection has scared us so much that we want to throw in the towel before we even know how it will end?
Have our past experiences scarred us so deep that we shudder at the thought at letting someone in?

I thought about this as I sat on the bus back home. Tracing my missteps and failed conversations in the rain stained window. Head against the seat I took a deep breath and realized that I was sabotaging myself. How in the world do you allow something to sit in your face and embody everything you could possibly imagine and not express your gratitude? Not step up, man up, and take that dive. The words are fighting to escape from your mouth and explode.

'Til next time

Life's worth

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve stated more than once that I am a native Washingtonian. What does that mean you ask? It means I’ve seen more scandal, heard more lies, and witnessed some of the most intriguing things you could possibly imagine. I actually grew up in the neighborhood of Capitol Hill. This tells you how close to the action I am.

This should mean I’m becoming immune to the sins of my fellow man, right? That’s what I thought until I read the newspaper during my afternoon break. The district released its homicide rates for the year. More importantly, it released its homicide rates for African American teens in the area. Nineteen children were killed this year as of December 16th. In 2006 and 2007 twenty-nine children were killed. Considering that there were about 30 shootings in the course of 2 weeks over the summer, nineteen children is a blessing inside of a curse.

Children and young teens are being targeted now on our streets. Boredom, juvenile delinquency, and ignorance are once again the blame. The “what to do now” card is being pulled out of the deck as the increase in bodies has people coming from under their “there’s nothing we can do” security blankets {cue flashback of Linus here}.

What to do now? Put stronger anti-gay task forces on the streets? Up the amount of officers in problem areas? Open more after school programs? Teach our youth not to slay each other senselessly? Start being a part of our children’s lives? WHAT DO WE DO? Screaming communities want to know!

I say all of the above and never look back. The problem is once people see the dropping homicides rates they assume their work is done. No, this means your work has just begun. You don’t teach a child to walk and then lead them to a corner of a busy intersection and go, “Ok cross when it’s your turn”. What type of person would do that? It’s a recipe for disaster. The same goes for keeping children safe, out of trouble, and supported while things are chaotic. You must keep up the support and effort. What good is a full-time job, if you’re only a part-time parent? Same goes for coaches, mentors, teachers, relatives, and friends. There is no clocking out when it comes to saving lives.

‘Til next time