Carrie Bradshaw??

I will be the first to admit that I love to watch Sex & the City. It wasn't so much because of the glitz, the glam, the cosmos, and talk of orgasm over a good panini. I came to identify with Carrie. She was the girl who was a little lost in it all. She was successful, but she wanted more. That more usually came down to either a new pair of Prada pumps or a new boytoy. Every once in awhile she chose the guy. However, just as things got steamy and reminiscent of a whirlwind romance...CRASH!!! She hit a wall. There was something about the guy she found wasn't so great after all. Most of the little quirks were small...like she was finding reasons to back away sometimes.

I like finding reasons to back away. Getting close terrifies me. It puts me in place called vulnerability. Which the sheer thought of visiting scares the hell out of me.
I run away...
But now I'm tired of running. Those pumps are getting a little achy and I just would love to surrender.
But what if I get hurt?...I don't want to go through that again.

Writing that just now, the craziest thought shot through me. This time, I don't care if I get hurt. I just want to feel loved and appreciated. If only for a moment. Well not a literally moment, but I think you get my drift.

Ugh...I'm going to think..and nap

'Til next time