Hiding

When we hide things from ourselves…we tend to hide ourselves from other people
So often do we fight with ourselves, do a dance of fear and denial
So scared to come out of sequence and embrace that is new
Looming over our heads all the words we wish we had said
And behind them negative thoughts, because we have trained ourselves to accept those as normal

Why is it so hard for us to express our feelings to another?
Is it simply because we afraid to admit that we are capable of being overcome with emotions?
Is it because rejection has scared us so much that we want to throw in the towel before we even know how it will end?
Have our past experiences scarred us so deep that we shudder at the thought at letting someone in?

I thought about this as I sat on the bus back home. Tracing my missteps and failed conversations in the rain stained window. Head against the seat I took a deep breath and realized that I was sabotaging myself. How in the world do you allow something to sit in your face and embody everything you could possibly imagine and not express your gratitude? Not step up, man up, and take that dive. The words are fighting to escape from your mouth and explode.

'Til next time