Heart Strings

In my sickness I've had the chance to really sit back and observe the world as it goes on without me. I've watched a lot of CNN. Listened to a lot of new music. Streamed a lot of news and pop culture current events.

So here's what I've seen:

The world is a heartbreaking place. A truly screwed up ball of beings who do things beyond my comprehension. I was watching Nancy Grace [yaaayyy to her followers, yeah yeah I know to those who loathe her] speak about the Tot Mom aka Casey Anthony. This woman has been charged with first degree murder, as the police suspect that her missing toddler is dead and more than likely mommy dearest had a hand in it. The child was missing for damn near a month before she even thought of filing a missing persons report. Mom of the year goes to.....
I only see this woman cry when they talk about her jail time...the daughter seems to be an afterthought.

Then there was flash about 6 year old boy who was kidnapped by the Mexican drug cartel, due to granddaddy's not so great interaction with them. He dropped the ball, the snagged the kid. They're asking for a ransom in the millions. The dad [who popped up out of nowhere] said that the kid is brave and strong. Therefore he'll give these guys a fight. These guys? These guys are dangerous druglords, dealers, sellers, and goons. EMF (Excuse my French), what the fuck can this kid do besides pray to see his family again and cooperate. It angered me to the core. Finally I see why people are bothered by those who are overly optimistic. There is nothing wrong with believing your child will overcome, but there is something wrong when you insert grandiose notions and bestow your child with power unknown to them. It suggests false belief and false hope. Don't hope for a fairytale ending when your reading a horror novel. A bearable and stable ending will do just fine.

Oh yeah and the cartel guys are certainly [EMF] screwed up fucks. Go after who you have the problem with. Not an innocent child.


Then I listened to a couple of floating tracks off of Kanye West's new album 808's & Heartbreak. Love Lockdown, Heartless, & The Coldest Winter are still buzzing in my ears. Every lyric pierces me, but in a different part of my heart. Knowing all he's been through in the last year or so, I expected a different sound on this album. What I didn't expect was for this album to pull me into his mindset, his depression, his hurt with such vigor. I played the songs over and over [that's how I preview new music. I listen for a new aspect each time.] and each time I was drawn into the emotion. It's a bit dark, but a very familiar darkness. A darkness, a fog we have all experienced. We just haven't done it as publicly as he is with this new project.


Misplaced children, death of loved ones, cries into the dark, bass filled with tears, the world is such a sad place. It's just tugging at my heart strings.

I promise I'll be less angry and more upbeat with the next posting.

Til next time.